A difficult to name feeling, that is shared by many of us. We may be unable to explain it to others, or even to ourselves. Sometimes, we believe that we know the reason, but later realize that it is something else.
This feeling comes in different forms. It could be ongoing, or repeatedly waxing and waning. It may be gone for several years and then come back. It may feel like seeking, disconnectedness, loneliness etc’.
There’s a word: ‘I’. We use it all the time: I work… I am reading… I wish… Etc’. Words are labels for mental concepts. It doesn’t mean that what these concepts represent is Real, only that we – both as a society and as individuals – have created them and now use them. The moment that we use the word ‘I’, we create separation.
If there’s an ‘I’, than the ‘I’ stands separate from everything else.
When there’s a word for ‘I’, and there another word for ‘God’, God and I are separate. We use language so automatically that most of us are oblivious to the finer “side effects” of language, and yet subconsciously, the emotion that we experience by such use, is that of separation. Many of us make significant efforts to be closer to God or the spiritual, or “the beyond” – or whatever word one wishes to use. At the same time, only very few of us experience proximity or unity with a higher spiritual essence. ‘I’ and ‘God’ remain separate, by virtue of our existence as separate manmade concepts.
This being the case, separateness can be substantially reduced through some personal work, though perhaps of a somewhat unfamiliar kind.
Below, is a practice that may change all that.
We are trying to become aware, of ourselves using the word ‘I’. As soon as we realize that we have just used the word ‘I’, we should do the following:
- We may experience a sudden inner silence. When this occurs, we allow the silence to be (without any doing, acting or interfering on our part) for as long as it lasts. There’s a consciousness shift taking place at this time, one which is beyond words, concepts, thoughts, emotions or sensations.
- Once the experience of silence has ended, we move on with whatever we were doing previously, as if nothing happened.
There’s no need to avoid using the word ‘I’, although that may be an added layer to this practice, one which some of us may wish to try.
This practice takes some patience and perseverance. There is no end result, only an increasing sense of connectedness, relief and liberation.
When we begin this practice, we are likely to be using the ‘I’ without noticing, practically all the time, which is completely understandable. Gradually we become more aware and notice our use of ‘I’ more and more often.
This is an exercise in awareness. We increase our awareness to include something which has previously been below the radar of our consciousness. Each time that we do this practice, we create a tiny hole in the wall of separation. Tiny enough that we may not notice anything. Continued patiently over a period of time however, we will notice several things:
- We will be noticing our use of ‘I’ more and more frequently.
- We will become aware of being about to use ‘I’ even before we actually say it.
- We will begin to have an experience of increasing unity with all things: known and unknown, familiar and unfamiliar, physical non-physical and spiritual, inside of us and outside of us, of this world and beyond. It is a very powerful experience, awe-inspiring, amazing, uplifting and liberating and certainly not of this world.
When we begin, It would best serve us to put our expectations away. It will allow us to stay with this practice over an extended period of time – long enough to reap its remarkable benefits.