Sep 062017

A thought comes to my mind: “I want to go out and take a walk!”. Looking more closely at it, it’s not just a thought. It is accompanied by some urge, plus a mental idea of reward (as a result of pursuing that thought), and also an emotional backdrop of wanting or needing.

A moment ago this thought was not there. Suddenly it is in my mind. I had no control over its absence a moment ago; I had no control over its appearance just now. And yet I am likely to follow it, or otherwise be tormented by it if I don’t.

Where did this thought come from? I know that I did not create it. Do these thoughts come from inside or outside of me? What’s controlling their appearance or absence?

Theoretically, I could have received just about any thought at all. Why then did I get this specific thought?

Am I to be blamed for creating this thought whether knowingly or unknowingly? Is it possible that I am unaware of creating these thoughts and emotions all by myself? I can honestly say that the emergence of these thoughts, emotions and urges are not a conscious act on my part and in fact the instantaneity of these emergences are much much faster than my consciousness’ ability to register it, until much later. And I can only assume that in large majority of cases, many of these thoughts go completely unnoticed.

And whereas I get a thought about going out to take a walk, another person gets a thought about having another (alcoholic) drink while somebody else gets a thought about killing a person. Their thoughts, just like my own, are accompanied by an urge and a mental idea of reward once the action is pursued. They are no more in control of the emergence of these thoughts/emotions/urges than I am. And yet our society doesn’t blame me for going out to take a walk, while it blames the other two. This is not to pass a judgement on society’s behavior in this instance – after all – by taking a walk I’m not hurting anyone, and by killing someone, or driving under influence I do, or potentially so. And so I understand society’s stance. But regardless, both myself and the other two people are in essence victims, of powers greater than ourselves, over which we have no control. Sure, we can acknowledge these thoughts/urges/emotions, deny them, fight them, try to ignore them. But experience keeps demonstrating that the more we fight them, the more power they seem to have over us.

Looking closer at this mysterious dynamic, I can see  that there are at least three elements at work here:

  1. Content: What exactly the thought is;
  2. Intensity: How powerful are the urges, emotions and mental justifications that accompany it;
  3. Timing: The exact timing when thought appear may have a different effect on us.

Fear for example, is just one aspect of this picture, and we all know very well how powerful fear is in controlling us. The fear of loss keeps perpetuating so many of us working in a job that we don’t like. The fear of loneliness keeps so many of us in relationships that are hurtful and poisonous. This is not the exception – it is the rule.

Are we being controlled without our knowledge or consent? Without even suspecting? And if so, controlled by who? Or by what? After all, we regard ourselves as free-willed, self-sovereign entities, capable of doing whatever we want or choose to do, or not do. But is it possible that this very Will – which we call Our Own, is not in our control at all? What if this “self will” is predetermined for us?

If these thoughts/emotions/urges are not in our control and yet control us, then why are we here? What’s the point? Are we mere game pieces on a board game? And even if so, what’s the purpose? Is it possible that there’s no purpose?
But life continuously demonstrates the purpose of everything, and science continuously discovers these purposes and dependencies. But what if that’s what we see simply because that’s what we are capable of conceptualizing?

And how can I possibly end this article? It feels as if it has opened a portal into a terrifying abyss and that there’s no way back.

Perhaps this article is not meant to have an end. Perhaps this article is an open door, an invitation to those who dare to explore a treacherous terrain.

Aug 022017

Our society discriminates between adults and children, where adults “count more” – if you’d forgive my bluntness – than children. Children are both expected, as well as forced, to do whatever they’re told to do, and they have little choice on the matter. This goes not only with parents, but school and the entire so-called “legal” as well as “enforcement” systems.

Children are expected to fit a mold and become a cogwheel, supposedly in the service of society, but in reality in the service of those in power.

Adults are expected to teach the children what’s right and what’s wrong, but what adults end up teaching is what we’re all allowed to do and what not. Often, this has little to do with what’s morally right and morally wrong.

But children, and especially the very young ones, see and understand more about this world than most adults can possibly imagine. Their understanding is not fogged up by years of brain washing and programming. A small vocabulary guarantees that their perceptions are not limited by concepts and words that are the creation of many millennia of forced programming. They understand body language, facial expressions, voice expression, as well as other input that belongs in the so-called “sixth sense” realm.

Not only do we have very little of value to teach them; they have such powerful understanding, that they can teach us how to change this world in the most amazing ways.

At this point in time, where our world is being driven by insane psychopaths into complete annihilation, children have some answers. All we have to do is to ask and they will tell us. As long as we can put aside our ego and overcome a deep seated tendency to regard children as inferior; when we find the capacity to realize that they may actually know more than we do; then we can ask questions with integrity and respect.

It’s important to realize that being unable to understand their answers, doesn’t indicate their lack of knowledge, but rather our own inability to understand what’s behind their words. We should not expect to understand their answers immediately. It may take some time and pondering on our part, before the beauty of truth begins to shine at us. So long as we are careful not to dismiss the answers given, simply because those are not available for our own understanding and recognition right away.

We, the adults, with all of our grandeur, are incapable of stopping the insanity that’s destroying us faster than ever. Perhaps it’s time to admit – before it’s too late – that something very profound needs to change in our way of seeing and understanding, if there is anything to be left.

When children are the ones coming to us with questions, it may be good for everyone if the children are encouraged to come up with an answer to their own question. There’s so much that we can learn simply by observing the process of a child’s attempt to find an answer.

Please don’t misunderstand this to say that a child should be rejected. They should be encouraged to find an answer on their own, and be given plenty of time for this purpose. Eventually, however, we should give them what we feel is the right answer, but also add, that this is what we think to be the right answer and that perhaps there’s a better answer. And that perhaps there are several answers, all of which are correct.

Perhaps the most important thing is to listen to their descriptions of their dreams. Children’s dreams are the access to knowledge that is direct, unhindered and uncensored. To some, this could qualify as prophecy. We should overcome the urge to put words in their mouths as they may struggle to describe their dreams to us. We do not know what their dreams were and we do not have the tools to help them through the struggle of description. It takes humility on our part to control ourselves and our urge to “help”.

It’s perfectly OK to not understand what they are saying. Regardless, it would be of value to write down these dream descriptions, and read them occasionally. Things that may not make sense at first, may come to life in a very powerful way later on. It’s important to understand that young children – who are not yet “taught” to distinguish between the so-called Real and the so-called Unreal – know the truth much better than we do. In reality, the truth is that everything is Real. Most of us adults, are incapable of seeing the whole; the truth.

We have entered a new epoch. The rules have changed, and are continuing to change during each person’s own lifetime. The teachers of old, are now students, hungry for knowledge. The only way in which this hunger can be satiated, is by recognizing our new teachers, and learn.
Our teachers are kind, patient and loving.

Jul 052017

There’s an ant running around. It’s busy doing its thing: collecting food, building its habitat and caring for the younger generation.

Unbeknownst to the ant, its own busyness happens in a place where two giants are wrestling. The ant has no knowledge of what a giant is and has no awareness of the wrestling that is going on. It also has no awareness of the simple fact that if one of these giants places their foot over it, that may well be its end. It notices shadows passing, breeze and sounds, but to the ant this is simply a part of nature; the way the world is.

The giants on their part, are busy fighting each other. They are busy working out a tactic to defeat the other, busy using their force in battle and are cautious of deceptive maneuvers that could result in defeat.

They have no awareness of an ant running around them and between them, nor of harming an innocent creature. Due to the size difference between the giants and the ant, and due to their being occupied and focused on their respective activities, there’s mutual unawareness between the parties.

At any given moment, one of the giants could step over the ant and crush it, and yet they are not trying to do that. And at any given moment, the ant could head in a direction that would place it directly underneath a giant’s foot, and yet it makes no attempt to do that.

The life of the ant is an uncertainty at every unfolding moment. It could be crushed before the end of this sentence, or it may live to a ripe old age and its death will be unrelated to the giants.

Whatever we choose to call it – God, higher powers, statistics, luck, etc’, when referring to the final outcome – it will be THAT which would dictate the final outcome.

Just an interesting visual description and nothing more, until we realize the following:
We are the Ant!

Jun 072017

The ultimate frontier. Our darkest hour before the discovery: the realization of our own delusion in a blunt, right in the face smack. The time when the nightmare comes to a point of utter hopelessness, being pushed into the chasm by powers that we’re not a match for. That’s when it comes: surrender.

It doesn’t come as a choice that we make. Not a conscious logical decision to surrender. That’s not its way. Rather, its a natural continuity from hopelessness. In gradually arriving at hopelessness, we use our logic more and more, as well as our power of will. We then arrive at hopelessness after all has failed. We no longer know what to do. We see no more options available to us. No way out. That’s when hopelessness comes.

Hopelessness is realizing that we are about to become consumed by the chasm.
Surrender is accepting being consumed while being consumed.

The experience of time passage, while we’re being consumed by the chasm, is very different than our ordinary experience of time. It is not unlike the recognition that time has stopped. Life continues all around us in a physical sense, but our experience via our own existence, is one of indefinite pause. We experience existence in two dimensions simultaneously.

In addition, the meaning that we have attached to various aspects of our life, is no longer there. The concept of Meaning has not existence in the realm of surrender.

There’s no advice, no tips or ideas, no way out, no way to stop it or make it end already. We are gone. That’s surrender.

It’s infinite and eternal; an endlessness.

But then, once passed Eternity, something happens. What comes next has nothing to do with anything that has come before. There’s no sign of a chasm, surrender, hopelessness, fear. No sign of the story or the circumstances that were there before so powerfully. It’s like a new ‘I’ has been just born into the same physical body. This new ‘I’, although in an adult physical body, is a baby. It doesn’t know what life is all about. All that other people see, is the adult body, not the baby inside, and so no one makes any attempt to explain things to us. We observe and we learn. Our thought process too, is non existent. We develop a thought process that for the first time ever is truly our own, and nobody else’s. This time through, nobody is trying to break us into a mold, to make us a functional cog in society.

This is not like being given a second chance – it is experiencing two lifetimes in a single physical body. It cannot be created or attempted. Some of us will be pulled into surrender through our own way of living. Some of us will find hopelessness but not surrender. It’s not in our hands. The prophet Jonah wasn’t looking to find surrender, nor hopelessness. He was merely trying to sustain the status-quo and be a happy, normal human being, just like everybody else. The harder he tried, the closer to the chasm he found himself. Being swallowed by the whale was the point of hopelessness – the complete loss of any spark of hope. Being digested inside of the whale, has lead to the recognition that “this is the end!”. Initially, there may have still been some thinking, perhaps regret: “I wish I didn’t run away”. But later that too was gone. There was only surrender accepting “the end”, realizing that there is nothing that’s about to follow. There is no “next chapter”.

Being spit out of the whale was not a possibility, but it did happen. And of course Jonah had nothing to do with that either. It just happened.

The story of Jonah stands for a similar aspect in each and every one of us, as is the capacity to find ourselves at the end of all ends: