field
Oct 042017
 

Maybe it has been there for many months. Possibly years even. The dark night of the soul, in whatever form it may be, whether chronic illness, loss, pain, suffering, continuous failures on too many fronts, depression that knows no end – whatever it may be.

Maybe we have accepted it. After all, we have the power to try and alleviate our situation and condition. We do whatever we can, whatever we can think of, whatever we can afford. But for how long? How long does it take before we feel defeated… when we give up… when we break down?

And even when we do give up – it’s not as if anything has changed. The suffering continues, each moment feels like eternity, and the hope… where is the hope? We cannot even remember when exactly we lost it. It was that long ago! Somewhere along the path of struggling and trying and failing and coming up with new tactics; somewhere in that battlefield hope was lost and gone.

And yet hope, couldn’t care less that we’ve forgotten all about it, that we lost it. It’s not offended. Suddenly, out of nowhere, it’s here. Like the very first rays of dawn after a night that has gotten darker by the minute. We did not expect it. We were not prepared for this. We may even be afraid. Afraid that this hope is just a teaser – being lifted upwards for the sole purpose of being slammed down with even greater force.
But here too, hope doesn’t care. Like a child smiling at us when all around us there’s devastation from an earthquake or a hurricane. That smile is untouched by the outside ruins. That smile exists on a realm of its own. We may dismiss it for as much as we want, but we cannot ignore the very fact that it touches us in a way undeniable. It’s there – or rather – right here. And when it is, we see all the ruin very very differently. Just like putting on a pair of tinted glasses. Nothing looks the same as before. The suffering was so real a moment ago, hope was nowhere to be found or remembered a moment ago. But that moment ago now feels just like eternity ago. This is more than magic – it’s almost diabolic.

We have an inherent need to understand. We have a need to have an idea in our mind about how things work, how the world works, how life works. Perhaps we do this so that we know what to expect, perhaps as a way to protect ourselves from unpleasant surprises. Or perhaps we have this need so to allow us to feel belong and connected, rather than alien to this world and this life. This need that we have, may be something that we are consciously aware of, but may also be something that’s controlling us, pulling our strings and pushing our buttons without our awareness, knowledge or consent. Regardless, we constantly try to understand how things really work and how we ought to interact with this reality.

Too often, when reality unfolds in accordance with this understanding of ours, we become more convinced that “we got it”. We may actually believe that we know what to expect. That we cannot be too surprised by anything. This is not entirely unlike arrogance – but it’s a protection mechanism. How else could we possibly take a step if we think that the floor is not solid? This may be a necessary protection mechanism for us to use. If we have been suffering for a very long time, having hope could just hurt us even more.

And yet suddenly… it is now here: Hope!

 

Nov 112014
 

There’s a saying:
“The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment”.
Most of us have expectations. We use our expectation as one of the means to guide us. That is to say, we create an invisible line connecting the action in the present moment, with the expectation for a certain outcome in the future. This line that we create is a path and a path is a direction. This way we know (or so we may think) where it is that we’re headed.

But what are expectations?
We can only expect something that is familiar. We can only expect something that we already know that exists. In other words, anything that we can possibly expect, belongs by necessity in the past.
Effectively, our expectation is for the past to replay itself – preferably, the more pleasant parts of the past.

But the future holds the potential for the unimaginable. It hasn’t yet happened, and it could be anything at all.

When we exercise expectation, we block infinite possibilities from entering our life. Possibilities that are not a part of our past knowledge or experience, and therefore are beyond our ability to imagine. And so effectively, and usually subconsciously, we use our own expectations to create a life that is repetitive and with little meaning. The path that we create via expectation, is therefore not a straight line, but a closed loop.

What’s the difference between having an expectation and having no expectation?
The fear of the unknown and the unfamiliar.

As long as life is lived in fear, this fear creates an invisible boundary that marks the end of one’s own world/life/sphere of existence. Anything outside of those boundaries is inaccessible for those individuals. The greater the fear, the smaller the size of one’s own sphere of existence – one’s own world.

Not only that; exercising fear, feeds fear. It makes it more powerful and it invades more and more parts of our life. It paralyzes us. Hope, by the way, is just an expectation. We created a vocabulary that favors a certain type of expectation over other kinds, we called it hope, and decided that we value it. But hope too, is based on our past knowledge and experience, and so our hope doesn’t allow for the truly amazing and unknown to make an entrance into our sphere of existence – into our life.

There’s a saying:
“Hope is the last thing that one loses”.
My wish for us all is that the next thing that we lose – and hopefully very soon – will be our hopes, along with all other expectations. Once we do, those invisible boundaries that encase and contract our world, will disappear. Every single day will become an experience of amazement at the vastness of the possibilities, amazing synchronicities that will happen for no apparent reason and an experience that the world is helping us every moment and with everything. Anyone who hasn’t experienced this, doesn’t know that such a reality truly exist. And this reality too, is only one possible reality. There is an infinite number of realities that are possible. Our thoughts, opinions, state of mind, beliefs etc’, decide which reality is going to be ours.

Expect nothing, Allow anything, and be amazed.