The ultimate frontier. Our darkest hour before the discovery: the realization of our own delusion in a blunt, right in the face smack. The time when the nightmare comes to a point of utter hopelessness, being pushed into the chasm by powers that we’re not a match for. That’s when it comes: surrender.
It doesn’t come as a choice that we make. Not a conscious logical decision to surrender. That’s not its way. Rather, its a natural continuity from hopelessness. In gradually arriving at hopelessness, we use our logic more and more, as well as our power of will. We then arrive at hopelessness after all has failed. We no longer know what to do. We see no more options available to us. No way out. That’s when hopelessness comes.
Hopelessness is realizing that we are about to become consumed by the chasm.
Surrender is accepting being consumed while being consumed.
The experience of time passage, while we’re being consumed by the chasm, is very different than our ordinary experience of time. It is not unlike the recognition that time has stopped. Life continues all around us in a physical sense, but our experience via our own existence, is one of indefinite pause. We experience existence in two dimensions simultaneously.
In addition, the meaning that we have attached to various aspects of our life, is no longer there. The concept of Meaning has not existence in the realm of surrender.
There’s no advice, no tips or ideas, no way out, no way to stop it or make it end already. We are gone. That’s surrender.
It’s infinite and eternal; an endlessness.
But then, once passed Eternity, something happens. What comes next has nothing to do with anything that has come before. There’s no sign of a chasm, surrender, hopelessness, fear. No sign of the story or the circumstances that were there before so powerfully. It’s like a new ‘I’ has been just born into the same physical body. This new ‘I’, although in an adult physical body, is a baby. It doesn’t know what life is all about. All that other people see, is the adult body, not the baby inside, and so no one makes any attempt to explain things to us. We observe and we learn. Our thought process too, is non existent. We develop a thought process that for the first time ever is truly our own, and nobody else’s. This time through, nobody is trying to break us into a mold, to make us a functional cog in society.
This is not like being given a second chance – it is experiencing two lifetimes in a single physical body. It cannot be created or attempted. Some of us will be pulled into surrender through our own way of living. Some of us will find hopelessness but not surrender. It’s not in our hands. The prophet Jonah wasn’t looking to find surrender, nor hopelessness. He was merely trying to sustain the status-quo and be a happy, normal human being, just like everybody else. The harder he tried, the closer to the chasm he found himself. Being swallowed by the whale was the point of hopelessness – the complete loss of any spark of hope. Being digested inside of the whale, has lead to the recognition that “this is the end!”. Initially, there may have still been some thinking, perhaps regret: “I wish I didn’t run away”. But later that too was gone. There was only surrender accepting “the end”, realizing that there is nothing that’s about to follow. There is no “next chapter”.
Being spit out of the whale was not a possibility, but it did happen. And of course Jonah had nothing to do with that either. It just happened.
The story of Jonah stands for a similar aspect in each and every one of us, as is the capacity to find ourselves at the end of all ends: