field
Sep 272014
 

When I criticize someone, I’m really saying: “I am better!”.
I say that I am better because of a soft, practically inaudible voice inside of me that’s saying: “You’re not good enough”. Every time that I criticize someone, I reinforce that small inner voice, giving it the strength to speak again and weaken me further.
This is a closed loop; a negatively-self-reinforcing cycle. It never ends . . .
. . . unless I refrain from criticizing.

Initially – when I wish to refrain from criticizing someone – I may still be criticizing them mentally, yet without voicing it. Later, as that self-destructive inner-voice weakens further, even the criticizing thoughts will cease. Once they do, I become free, strong, happy and certainly much more than merely “good enough”.

  3 Responses to “Criticizing”

  1. How true this is. And so simple a concept…….

  2. It depends what kind of thing we are criticizing others. When you are my age, you would more experiences with yourself and someone else. From those experiences, sometimes I feel someone is so silly or can see is going to make a mistake. Of course, I would say straight forward or I would talk with someone else; that’s gossip. Sometimes, while I’m criticizing others, I think I have to be careful not doing the same.
    How do you think?

    • It’s interesting that many times we criticize other people over the same things that we ourselves are guilty of. It’s also interesting that many of us cannot really see that – otherwise, we would have not be criticizing them in the first place.

      When I don’t understand why the other person does or says something, I simply ask them. I ask because I may discover a point that I am currently unaware of.
      You are correct in that we are more knowledgable and experienced as we age, but that in itself doesn’t necessarily mean that we have more understanding for other people’s actions, if those actions are different than our own.

      Another point is that the act of criticizing, doesn’t achieve anything good to either the criticizer or the criticized. It is simply an attempt by one party to demonstrate that they are better in some way. When we believe that someone is about to be doing something that could harm or hurt them, we can simply share our concern with them. This would be a combination of compassion, humility and positive action.

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